soo yes BASICALLY all the FUN HAPPENS AT PC WEN IM NOT THERE...this kid set the fire alarm wit a firecracker n all yada yada and the sophies were sent to the auditorium for investigation.i heard they were offering free lunches for ppl who told who they were.GOSH.wtf?bribes are for losers.and a wrd i cant say lol.soo the kid(whose name shall remain unknown, tho we all know)got expelled.i think HES BEEN WANTING TO GET OUT...they were like lets try to get pc back to the way it was like nice & respecable.haaa.i wish.sooo yea ITALY WAS GREAT!!rite..i hated it a tad bit too much for my own good.went to prayer.good good.and yaaaaa .so thurs im taken off too tired.friday idk.i want to catch up.omggggggggg tihs is beyond me///sooo yeaa in conclusion ALL THE FUN STUFF HAPPENS WEN IM NOT THERE.dresss down tomorrow.

p.s my space is addictive

soo i got a my space...->  http://profiles.myspace.com/users/17160507

thats about it

chris is an ass so he broke up wit dee but she got another bf in less than prolli 9.2 hours..pretty grooovy..i feel happy.i miss school.ok.enough said.....
prayer =tomorrow..dee is coming.p.s i wish i was gangstaaa haaa prolli not

`cynthia

 geli is sic, but gettin better, i guess movie night sunday at her crib...lets see. friday was sorta werid.lol..i went to wrk, really not wanting to, but then by the end of the nite, i really liked it.i like my job. the girl who was there training me, katie, is soo nice.omg. too nice actually.but not in a bad way.she was very sweet.she goes to william paterson university..aww i like her.shes a cutie.n she was like complimentin me the whole time.she was like "ur doing very well 4 ur 1st time, aww im gettin a nice vibe from you, if onli all ppl were like u".aaw,that was nice. i think i need that reasurance.butoooh no, if everyone was like me this wrld wud be soo phsychotic,lol.more than it is..so then right b4 i got "lose"lol..wtf?well comfortable, i heard al greens "lets stay together"on the radio..aww GOT me thinkin about my geli-O..and how we use to do "freestyle fridays" on the streets of our hood.lol..goshhh..good ole t imes.then to crack it all down wen  i heard the eagle's"hotel california", a tear cuda fell down, it was the same feelin..gosh.lol..it made things into perspective, for i had a bad morning arguing wit the parents.some messed up s**t like that.lol.anyways. ITS SOO FUNNy!all i do at wrk is: answer the fone.."hello donnas"and take orders..re write them and "hook" the ticket up to the thingie for "hot foods" oR "subs" or "pizza"..lol..thats it!!.its funlol.i dont do that much,but its soo boring wen buisness is slow.soo my four hours at el trabajo (hey, miss cronan wud be proud!)lol..consist of ..for example.."yes, so let me read it bac to u , u want 2 sicilian pies, one mushroom and the other one half sausage and half black olives.lol.and u want one order of the italian salad, one anitpasto wit anchovies, 2 chicken parm heroes..ok that will be 15 minutes.and the name is..?..john mayer..?ok..thankyou.have a good day"!!aww i love doing it..but it cud get stressful wen i have 3 ppl on the line"plz hold "plz hold"..funnny.k.soo yay! i dont wrk tomorrow, the boss said next week i'll wrk the whole 3days, fri, sat n sun..oOOoHoh.. someone has money in her pocket,u kno wat that means???im going shopping im going shopping!llol..=].soo lets see i got home around 9:30 and i showerd ect, soda, ect n i went online n ACCIDENTLY played a tric on lizz.lol..loser.i love her tho..OMG someones reall gullible lol.it was accidently too..ooh here.entertain urself..umm p.s im kelso6000:

i love the reinvention n realization stage.ok.well i must say that this weekend was soo much fun. i find it ridicously funny, how a couple of turn of events can change one's perspective of things. lets seee.this weekend.other than wat i call "studdying" for the infamouS miDtermS, i had a good time chillin in what my love, john mayer calls "the great indoors"ironically he's tellin u in the song to leave the "great indoors"haha i love that kid.[BRILLIANT] mind...i picked up my guitar.lol,inlike 2 weeks maybe 3 idk.ive been neglecting it..aww my poor baby...and actually i went insane wen this song came out just oo soo ..perfect*..mostly tho i healed from my phase that i was going b4, i think i was being real negative n i shud stop that,and so im working on that.
 this weekend we also got a lot of snow..ooh yea. in the wrds of johnny leeners "ooh that darn snow"loll<3..umm yeaa i dont really like snow 4 the most part.its beauitful n it gives a great ambience.haha..got to study 4 vocab..lol..after 2days the beauitful, white and pure snow is all brown n yucki, i think thats wat hurts me the most,seeing it go thru such a transition.anywho,lol,yea 1foot, i think.what really changed my additude, is my mommy almost got into a car accident on 17, on her way bac from work sat evening..its always,ALWAYS, somethin like that, that makes me turn to J.C.. i have to be honest, and this is for me onli, i dont want an audience, im just too lazy to write in my diary n i find typing funlol..dork..that its always some sorta "bad"thing to happen that i turn to Jesus.honestly before sat evening, i havent really, prayed, in like 2-3weeks.i know. bad..just like wit my sister.i learned  something.importannt.soo my mom wasnt injured or anything, she just came home cryin, cuz it was her first, in her wrds "near death expierence",she explained to my sister and i of how n she hit the brakes and "it was like the movies",gosh i love her.honestly she was all in tears, cuz she "somehow" she is still alive, wen she knows she cuda died. see, i look at it this way. differnt ppl have differnt outlooks on y things dont n do happen. n thats cool, thats y their differnt, but i just love her graceful way of looking at it, she's a women and like all of us,lol, we tend to get emotional about certain things,i kno i do.lol...then wat really shocked me was she told me "cynthia, your prayers n u being a great CHRISTIAN saved me, i kno it"..i was blowm away.b.c since my mom does wrk a lot n im mostly in my room, she doesnt really know that i [havent] been steadfast in my faith.soo thats the guilt workin there. so, i take this "incident" as somethin that , some may take it little, for example"omg,that was scary,gosh im so lucky",or as i took it, "thats a miracle n a sign n its telling me to change.".i simply know it did.my mommy is safe tho<3.
last night also up tlking to ppl and just being around me room lol..i tihnk..i dont really remember..funny convos last nite.about how me n danielle are going to invent edible bags..long story.then the infamous chatroom wit everyone on my bl..haaa my life is like circled around this piece of electronic...pretty sad..lol..j/p...OooOoH and i got a job!!yay.my moms friend offered me a job at her pizzeria, answering fone calls n some stuff..yay!!i also get to serve the food..aww soo excited.b/c it should be fun n a good expiernce..plus im makin moneylol!..i realy need stuff tho, but i dont want to ask the mom.for example, i need to get my school vest,new piks,i want a digital camera,really badly..lol.um maybe some new shoes oh my north face jacket, ect.soo yeaa. the bad part is i have to work fridays,saturdays and sundays from 4pm to 9pm..so there goes my social life!=/..not that i reallly had one though ;lol.. so five hours a week, $8 an hour for 15 hours a week thats $120 a week..maybe tips?idk.lol..after i shop the 1st week im SAVING IT ALL!.haa.soo yea but on the real..lol.after i turn [16] im workin at abercrombie n fitch baby yeaa!LOL..aww i always wanted to work wit a friend..idk y..soo yea..that was coool.
today=sunday..twas really good actually, even tho i cudn't play wit geli in the snow lol cuz my parents said no, aww that ryhmes, i went outside n watched my sister play than i played my guitar, i cooked dinner, may i say it was incredibly wonderful!lol..um washed,straighten,did my hair.studied and now im here!yes.i enjoyed it.i guess thats wat counts..
then to my unexpected surprise my friend ims me and we have a lil chat, starts of like they usualy always do, wit a friendly hello and then it hit me, my pal wanted my input on the infamous three letter word...[sex]..aaah..i honestly didnt kno wat to say. she was like.she wasnt sure if she was ready, she loves him, but shes not in love wit him,ect,that she'll prolly do it wen she's sixteen. im a realist.i kno a lot of ppl who are doing it.everyones doing it, no really.. everyone IS doing it, esp.at pc. but i dont kno, why people get so fond about a number.age is just a number, it doesnt change ur credibilty or ur matureness, i just want wats best for her, like all my friends. and we all know christians dont get jiggy wit it till marriage..lol..but seriously, wat do i kno? i dont even have a boyfriend so i cant put myself in her position, aah it was pretty intense.maybe i was/am exaggerting.thats just me tho. guys, i tell u man, u gota find a good one..lol..aaw.which reminds me.[lesson learned this weekend]: all guys are suckers.lol no really, they are,point blank. they love the attention they get and they crave it, so they do silly lil 2nd grade stuff to get it,but im not havin it.lol...love u kids.stay safe'
xOxO
`cynthia

i dont kno y im writting,but i am..soo there u go..aah.let me start of saying ,katie leo is friggin awesome and she rocks...hard.lol!..k, that being said..lets see how my week was..
*[i wish i was high or drunk or something therefore i wud have a reason for not remembering..but i wasn't and i  still do not remember ]..all i remember is waking up, doing stuff and going bac to sleep.and thats the same thing every single day.it's like a lifeless cycle. my life right now is pointless.i can honestly say im not at my lowest, but everything is just a big old mess, a nightmare i want to wakeup from, or maybe im just exaggerating-either way, its bad. i dont kno why, not that im seekin for an excuse to blame it on, but this year im not doing well in school. aah it sucks. i fucking hate it,i can never get a 100 in geometry,ever.i studied so hard n i screwed up one rule which caused a major error on 8problems and there u go..i get a 60..i was about to cry.but i told myself not to cry n therefore the brain overpowered the feelings,i think some BS like that..anywho i made it up today n i got 100..gosh its not fair,i knew the material n the concept n all but i still scrwed up.so he gave me an 80 i dont get it..gosh stupid fucking loser,thats wat i am. so religion idk i havent been doing my worksheets but i shudnt be failing, n history,boy i dont kno.cuz onli a miracle will help me even pass. n i dont just want to pass i want to do really well in her class..gosh.well 2days b4 the test on thursday, she told me i'd have to do really good like 90 good to pass and of course i was gonna do it cuz i was like focused, but im not even confident in the test i handed in, usually i am, n well the results arent all that great, boy, i can onli imagine my grade.i guess  the rest subjects are good.idk..my mom doesnt even kno wat my grades are,gosh i shouldnt deserve to go there.i think shes gonna take me out.w.e i dont even kno wat i want anymore. but i doubt i'll go to bergen tech so maybe r.p.i dnt care anymore.anything will do now...my faith is doin so bad, duh. i wish i cud say i dont care anymore and fuck it, but i cant, theres always a tiny thing there. i guess its all of result of wat i've been doing lately n i deserve it, but i dnt kno wats wrong wit me. i hope it just a phase,which im sure it is, but its one hell of a horrible one.i remember the good ole days wen i use to be so steadfast on my faith, n idk i was just so uplifted, but now idk.im not complaning..oh no, never that. im just sayin it how it is. i am a bad person so i deserve wat iget.but wat really gets me the fuqq mad is wat me n johnny L, was tlkin about last night, how some ppl have all the fuckin luck, and they get whatever they want,and they arent even "good people" and they do worse things THAN YOU AND I. not that im questioning God about why he's putting me thru these trials and why he's letting 'them' get wat they want and all..it was a rather good descusion.the topic of religion always gets to me.so then we went to the gym, it was good,like always,always feel great after the gym, than i had a tad bit too many redbulls+ wit my adhd i was being once again...an "embarrasement" cuz i was screaming and jumping up n down and trying to air hump people, innocent fun.that was yesterday, n now i feel like this.
in summarazation..my week has been like a rollercoaster, the kind that u are EXCITED AND ANTICIPATED to go on and then it's not so good..like my week my grades are a rollercoaster thus i feel like one*
closing->atleast my hair looked cute today =]
`cynthia